families of the mentally ill

Well, I just can't figure out how to find the blogs I want. I think I am probably just too old to be able to use these sites like the young do. I wanted to find a site for support about having a mentally ill family member. I did go to a NAMI class (National Asociation of the Mentally Ill) and we had a few group meetings when it was over, but the group just didn't gel. I tried to go on Craig's list in town to find one and I think that site is just for the young because of the crazy names and titles there - plus all the "language" - nothing real.

I am messing around about starting a book about the past year because when I tell people that they just wouldn't believe what we've been through, they say I should try. There is just so, so much. I'm not sure anyone would want to read such a book. Maybe thrill seekers. I would like for other people to share what they've been through and see how we have handled things, how we have tried to learn the right ways to help him and I need their advice.

I watched "The Soloist" a few days ago and it was just so obvious to me that Steve Lopez and the first chair cello player thought the mentally ill man could just CHOOSE to act normally and do normal things. They just didn't get it. The wonderful man who ran the homeless shelter did.

The homeless shelter literally makes my stomach churn. If I don't get my son on the right track before Mike and I die, HE could be sitting outside that shelter all day in that cement city surrounded by the noise of all those tortured souls. I just couldn't stand that. Here in Colorado Springs, he would sleep down by the river in weather so cold it could kill him. Of course in our wonderfully famous "Fundamental Right -wing Republican Christain" city, the homeless are not allowed to exist. Even the unemployed homeless families are not allowed to "BE" anywhere that other people can see them. If they try to camp along the river the cops will come and throw away all their few precious belongings and items that help them survive. The shelters are beyond full. Where are they supposed to go? Wow, this is just another "thing" I get up about.

This coming weekend I am planning to go to DC with Mike while he has a business meeting. We lived there a year and I loved it. We get to stay at the Mayflower - an exquisite, grand old hotel. It has lots of ballrooms that they use for conferences now. Think of that - lots of ballrooms! Each one uniquely designed. We used to take the kids there on Sunday afternoons and sit somewhere in a corner and have tea and hot chocolates and watch. Now I get to stay there for 4 nights!

This is the first time in 10 years I have dared to leave Alex alone in town. I am very uneasy about it now. I DO have the comfort of a mature, responsible, understanding daughter and her husband in a town nearby, but she and Alex do not communicate. He would call her in the middle of the night if something really bad happened - like when he got arrested for unpaid parking tickets.

Now he ONLY has a vengeful sociopath stalking him, another seriously angry, vengeful no-good, low class, violent (what other words can I use?) person angry at him(who is trying to set him up as a meth-maker! TRUE!), two immature guys next door that secretly film him for fun, several negative spirit ghosts that constantly taunt him (yes, that's true too whether you want to believe it or not), AND a few cops from the Colorado Springs police deparment watching him all the time to figure out if he is a drug dealer or a crazy terrorist or what.

Damn! I have no business leaving town! And right now he won't talk to me because I went to his house just after he took the trash out and raked his back property and THE GHOSTS really give him a bad time when they think he cleans up for his mom. YES! YES! Truely! Really! This is what we are dealing with! Can you believe it? It's TRUE. I HAVE TO YELL BECAUSE IIT'S SO F...ING CRAZY!!!!!