Okay, Even the Russian Agrees!

So I listened to a Russian man on Project Camelot - Valery Uvarov - and he says essentially the same thing that David Wilcock is only noone is as cheerful and positive as David Wilcock. Check out Dolores Cannon too.
So, from what Uvarov says, you have to be very healthy to live through the times coming up. Even David Icke was talking about keeping yourself well from flu-type things(manmade or real) by taking lots of VitD3. Now why, JUST WHY, would all these people be saying the same thing if there weren't something to it?
The Russian isn't an intuitive - he goes by science only. He says - just science, NO remote viewers or anything like that - just science. Then he went on to say that the Russians were the most spiritual people in history.
His character was very confusing. Sometimes he seemed like such a reasonable, mature person who was just going to talk straight out with great honesty to share with people and then he would also act like an ego person whoacted like he had a big secret and he wasn't sure he wanted to tell you.

But HERE'S the crazy thing - tonight I am going to confront my son and tell him that he must agree to get both physical and psychiatric help because he is convinced he only has a few months to live and then here I am thinking that I only have a couple of years to live because of the great changes to the Earth.
My neighbors are sitting outside laughing and talking like normal people should. How can I ever be normal again?

How Can the Worst Get Worse!

I have spent the day practicing being very cheerful, grateful and spiritually aware because of some of the "stuff" I've been reading by whistleblowers. They say that to overcome the negative entities and activities that are coming to a head in 2012, that it is vital for our survival to raise our spiritual vibrations by living in joy.

Then the rest of the day happened. I listened to a very intelligent and scientific talk by a russian who has been working and studying the pyramids and historic and ancient history. His understanding on all this is just a slight variation of everybody else's only he comes right out and says that if we aren't in really good health then - we will die. I have fibromyalgia. So that's that. I have no real traumatic feelings about dying in 2 years - I just thought I might live through it because I carry no anomosities against anyone.

But even that is not what was bad today. Tonight I called my beautiful, dear, paranoid psychotic son to tell him that my husband and I were going to just leave him alone for 3 weeks to continue on his recent schedule of actually doing productive work in his garden and outdoor space. He is strenghtening his terribly weak muscles from being in bed for 10 years, and seems to not have any great paranoid psychotic plots this week. But then he said that he thinks he is dying and only has a few months to live and doesn't want to find out any facts about it. He just wants to die in peace.
He says his bills have been so bad lately because he felt that drinking expensive health drinks was keeping him alive but since he can't afford them anymore he will just do without and.....I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID, BUT HE WAS GOING TO GO AHEAD AND DIE AND IT'S OUR FAULT BECAUSE IT IS TOO EXPENSIVE TO BUY THOSE HEALTH DRINKS!! Holy shit! Just holy shit.

WHAT THE............!

Wow! I don't blame anyone for not reading my blog. It IS rather depressing(HA! understatement!)
Soo, really nothing has changed as far as ALex goes. Mike and I have gone to visit the local mental health clinic (Absolutely NO activity), we visited the hospital where supposidly they take the critically mentally ill for stabilization and the lady there said that wasn't true - that there wasn't even a psychiatrist in the hospital; we called the number online and they said that you call an ambulance and have them taken (maybe with police help) to the MAIN ER and then they send him to the hospital that doesn't even have a psychiatrist, for treatment.... hmmm, something strange here.
Of course it's all terribly complicated with the information I have obsessively been listening to on whistleblower sites where they say that there are huge concentration camps here IN THE USA to be used for energy(?literal?) food for the reptilian aliens that live underground on our planet - ESPECIALLY UNDER THE VATICAN- and that they are in cahoots with the Illuminati that are the richest 400 families in the world that actually OWN the Federal Reserve (well..the Rothchilds) and run all the governments behind the governments.
Now, how does THAT paragraph effect you? Actually I DO know - because I have the same reaction. NUTS! CRAZY1 LOONEY! F....ing OUT OF IT! But, actually, it's true.
Yup - true. It took me a LONG time to get there from where YOU are, but my non-believing self really, really got there.
OH! Here's the worst thing of all....THE MOON'S NOT REAL!!!!!!!! Try THAT on for size!!! SO - George Lucas, as well as most of Hollywood, has been on the inside for YEARS. George knows the truth. Guess what the DEATH STAR is modeled after? You got it - the MOON!!!! Don't believe me? Go to PROJECTCAMELOT.ORG and just listen to some of these guys. They aren't freeky loonies - they are mature, intelligent, highly respected ex-military, or scientists - EVEN ASTRONAUTS! Just check it out for yourself. Really - you kind of need to know the truth to save your own life. Oh, and check out HAARP and the other towers all over the USA that send out waves that control YOUR MIND.

psychotic paranoia

It was inevitable that his spychosis would eventually turn on me and I knew it would and I was completely prepared not to take it personally - BUT IT REALLY HURTS!!!
He recently became quite normal sounding after the cops quit following him (?) after the sting (?) at his friend's house to catch him selling his oxy (?)
He said he was himself again and that he was getting stronger and he was being able to remember things that had happened to him the past year that he couldn't deal with during the time because he was living in crisis mode just surviving and just couldn't deal with any more but he remembers now that the boys next door came in while he was asleep and FILED HIS TEETH DOWN like in the horrifying picture on the front of a scarey magazine from somwhere and that he had been HOMOSEXUALLY RAPED REPEATEDLY and how could I be such a bitch as to want my car back when he was dealing with the most horrible, sickening, traumatic things a person ever could in their life and how I have changed from the caring person he knew growing up and I don't seem to care or believe him that I could even think about the car.

I did that all in one long, run-on sentence to give you a little bit of an idea of what it is like to listen to him - only he is yelling all this time. I paid a hundred bucks to a counselor - a good one - to get some advice about all this, but I need to ask her a couple of questions and I don't want to pay her another hundred just for 10 minutes. AND my car is having actual huge explosions in the gas tank!
Isn't there someone wise and experiences to give me some advice here?

2012 AND Paranoid Psychosis

Holy Moly! How quickly things can change! My precious son's paranoia has now turned on me and I can no longer communicate with him. I know he is not devistatingly alone however because he has 2 friends that support him now - one is a drug dealer that set him up with the DEA in a sting (could be true or not), but he considers her his dear friend (!) When I tried to question him about it all, he flew into a rage and told me that we couldn't talk about it because she might go to jail - even though we were in my car at a public park with no cars in sight and no one could possibly hear us.
Then he attacked me for the pain meds I take for my Fibro and arithritis in shoulders, back and said that I was always "high" and HAD to take them every time I saw him to treat anxiety. Now, neither of these is true but how do I convince him of that? How do I convince him that I am the one who has stayed by him every minute for the entire 10 years he's been ill and loved him unconditionally?
I HAVE failed him by not making him get better help several years ago. Help!

So - 2012 - I have learned SOOOO much! First, I refer you to the Camelot Project and David Wilcock. You can watch David's talks on Youtube. It is impossible to ignore this man's brilliance no matter if you give a s... what he's saying or not! And I believe him. basically he gives a complete scientific explaination of what is going to happen so that even I can get the gist of it but the point is that our DNA is going to change to the next level of evolution SUDDENLY and we will be 400 times more open to the spiritual side of the people, mother earth and the universe. We will live in love and harmony and we will be able to heal disease and (I wish I could put this in tiny letters) - fly.

Now I understand how "out there" this sounds from an old lady like me - and I am quite boring I assure you - but listen to this. When I first got into our souls and after life and stuff, I got a book by a Chinese man who wrote a book about our souls and I kept reading it because he has such a beautiful mind. But now I picked it up again and started from the beginning and even though I was alone at the time I shouted out loud that it was EXACTLY WHAT DAVID WILCOCK was saying about 2012!!!!! The books are the Soul Power Series by Dr. Zhi Gang Sha. The specific book I am reading is "Soul Wisdom". He is a precious treasure and his book is full of precious treasures for you.
PLEASE listen to David's lectures on Youtube Camelot Project (and check out all the scarey ufo and illuminati folks there too)

My Angels Astonish Me

As far as I know I have an angel and a male-type spirit guide and they have been absolutely amazing me this past week and tonight they just crack me up!
I have been asking them for very specific helps lately - about one each night and their answers are so obvious that even my skeptical husband has to agree that they have been answering.
The "coincidences" are so good!
Anyway, yesterday for my rest time I listened to a new meditation tape that my daughter bought me. It was the first time I have listened to the colors of the chakras in meditation.
So, I get e-mails all the time from Stumbleupon and most of the time I have to ignore them because I simply don't have time. It's been weeks since I opened one but tonight I did, just for fun. It was an art site BUT the second site was on pineal meditation and I clicked on a guy in a very colorful shirt who just started talking about the colors of the pineal chakra. DO do dum dum dummmmm
I LOVE IT! I am going to heal myself of this damn sickness. I haven't finished the medical meditation book yet but I am already convinced it will work. I just need to feel well enough to get through it!
My paranoid psychotic son is stealing all my energy right now and I am not feel at all patient about it. I need to summon up some loving-kindness along with tough love to get him out of his cave garage and move home and get well. I don't think even one person has looked at my blogs so I can't ask for prayers - I guess I'll ask my angels!

Well...I need to Explain

I'm not saying that The Urantia Book is gospel. But then I don't think the Gospel is gospel. I just think it's another explaination. And I also don't think there isn't a Hell - I just don't think it's what we generally think it is.
I also want to say this - NOONE CARES HOW MUCH YOU KNOW UNTIL THEY KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE.
I think people get so tied up in their lives and jobs and close circle of collegues, that their entire view of things becomes very small and their emotions are easily threatened. This is so especially true of people who work in churches and politics. I wish all these people could understand the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Both pastors and politicians can be passionately eloquent stating lots of scripture and the constitution and current thinking and still be off key. And when the person is BOTH a churchperson and a politician you get .............!
I wish I could say more but I've got to get to work.