How Can the Worst Get Worse!

I have spent the day practicing being very cheerful, grateful and spiritually aware because of some of the "stuff" I've been reading by whistleblowers. They say that to overcome the negative entities and activities that are coming to a head in 2012, that it is vital for our survival to raise our spiritual vibrations by living in joy.

Then the rest of the day happened. I listened to a very intelligent and scientific talk by a russian who has been working and studying the pyramids and historic and ancient history. His understanding on all this is just a slight variation of everybody else's only he comes right out and says that if we aren't in really good health then - we will die. I have fibromyalgia. So that's that. I have no real traumatic feelings about dying in 2 years - I just thought I might live through it because I carry no anomosities against anyone.

But even that is not what was bad today. Tonight I called my beautiful, dear, paranoid psychotic son to tell him that my husband and I were going to just leave him alone for 3 weeks to continue on his recent schedule of actually doing productive work in his garden and outdoor space. He is strenghtening his terribly weak muscles from being in bed for 10 years, and seems to not have any great paranoid psychotic plots this week. But then he said that he thinks he is dying and only has a few months to live and doesn't want to find out any facts about it. He just wants to die in peace.
He says his bills have been so bad lately because he felt that drinking expensive health drinks was keeping him alive but since he can't afford them anymore he will just do without and.....I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID, BUT HE WAS GOING TO GO AHEAD AND DIE AND IT'S OUR FAULT BECAUSE IT IS TOO EXPENSIVE TO BUY THOSE HEALTH DRINKS!! Holy shit! Just holy shit.