"Billions and Billions"

I do love Carl Sagan. He was way wise before his time. I have been watching "Cosmos" on Netflix some evenings. What a visionary!
Well, my "billions" theme is 2 fold. Both Sagan and my realization that this blog is simply a journal. I tried to find a live conversation blog to join but the field is so utterly vast, that I can't find a way in. If someone out there know how to show me, please do, but until then I will just assume this is a space of my private thoughts.
Fibromyalgia was my most dominant New Years theme. I took care of my grandson and 'THE DOG" for 3 nights and it has literally taken a week for me to recover. To have to lay in bed for 2 full days, too weak and tired to walk to the kitchen is simply frightening. I get so, so, so scared. If I became ill in any way, or if the damn insurance co wouldn't let me have my pain meds, I WOULD be bed-ridden. And I am just terrified of getting really old. The damn insurance co's (I always use the prefix "damn" when I talk about insurance co's) won't let me have long-term care coverage because I take pain meds. My daughter's life is just too busy and her house too small to have the burden of an old lady.
But the greatest fear is my son. I HAVE to get him squared away before I can go anywhere. He is living in his 100-yr-old brick garage with no running water because his house bruned in June. He is paranoid psychotic and also has Fibromyalgia. This is a long, sad story. I don't want to tell it now - I want to go paint. I am a decorative artist (a rather good one too!) and I must get to work to earn a few moneys to help things out. This is just a time of some revelations that I must learn to deal with.......