something nagging me

I just have to mention this because it bothers me about the whole basis of my research. The first time I heard Eckhart Tolle interviewed on Oprah he said something kind of strange. He was talking about why he wrote the book "The Power of Now". He said he was very depressed and had decided to commit suicide. He said he was thinking to himself that "I am going to kill myself" and he said he suddenly realized that "I" and "myself" were 2 people. That's what got him started thinking about his spirit. I think his thinking about this is completely nuts - it's simply a matter of grammar -NOT 2 people! I have a BA in English so I feel somewhat qualified to speak about this. It's merely 2 different words to refer to yourself depending on where in the sentence your reference is - as the subject or the object. It's kind of amazing that he wrote a book on a complete philosophy based on a misunderstanding of grammar. Does that bother you?

"Billions and Billions"

I do love Carl Sagan. He was way wise before his time. I have been watching "Cosmos" on Netflix some evenings. What a visionary!
Well, my "billions" theme is 2 fold. Both Sagan and my realization that this blog is simply a journal. I tried to find a live conversation blog to join but the field is so utterly vast, that I can't find a way in. If someone out there know how to show me, please do, but until then I will just assume this is a space of my private thoughts.
Fibromyalgia was my most dominant New Years theme. I took care of my grandson and 'THE DOG" for 3 nights and it has literally taken a week for me to recover. To have to lay in bed for 2 full days, too weak and tired to walk to the kitchen is simply frightening. I get so, so, so scared. If I became ill in any way, or if the damn insurance co wouldn't let me have my pain meds, I WOULD be bed-ridden. And I am just terrified of getting really old. The damn insurance co's (I always use the prefix "damn" when I talk about insurance co's) won't let me have long-term care coverage because I take pain meds. My daughter's life is just too busy and her house too small to have the burden of an old lady.
But the greatest fear is my son. I HAVE to get him squared away before I can go anywhere. He is living in his 100-yr-old brick garage with no running water because his house bruned in June. He is paranoid psychotic and also has Fibromyalgia. This is a long, sad story. I don't want to tell it now - I want to go paint. I am a decorative artist (a rather good one too!) and I must get to work to earn a few moneys to help things out. This is just a time of some revelations that I must learn to deal with.......

NEW YEAR!! What's new? What's OLD is what's new!

Again, I ponder why I'm one of a very small group of people who want to know more about our true spirit and the afterlife. I guess I do finally understand why the East Indian people is so content with their current lives - why get all frantic when we DO reincarnate hundreds of times!
I have learned that the reason this is such an unpopular view in the US is because THE Christain Church wants people to feel they only have one lifetime to REPENT (I really dislike that word - mostly I don't understand it) I'm going to have to wait until I can speak to those-who-know before I understand the concept of original sin, but aside from that, I have learned from repeated sources that we have many, many lives to learn what God wants us to know -(now this is the real meaning of life, so pay attention) THAT WE MUST LEARN TO LOVE EACH OTHER AS HE LOVES US! Duh. Where have we heard that before?
Now, I will repeat this concept multiple times throughout my blogs so people are clear on that, but there's so much to learn about how it all works and I can't wait to tell you!
I do have a bibliography to prove I'm not just thinking all this up on my own, but when I read things in multiple places, I figure it's more like general knowledge, but some things that I think YOU should read, I will cite.
So after reading Tolle's book and Betty Eadie's book about Heaven, I really wanted to know more about our "real selves". By the way, I have not learned how to meditate yet - I intend to - but that's one reason why I haven't known about our spirits being different from who we are in the flesh.
The next place I went was that website near-death.com and read everything I could there. It is absolutely fascinating. Again, after you read many sources of the same thing, it begins to be believable. There are 2 other NDE (near death experience) web sites - IANDS, the international site, and NDERF.org which is the research website. But near-death.com is very reader friendly and I can click on a word to answer a quick question.
So, our spirits were created long ago (although I have read about new spirits also) and we helped God plan how our universe would be - how the naturals laws would work.
When we die, our spirits have some choices. We can stay on Earth for a while and check on our loved ones and help them deal with our passing. You hear about THE LIGHT and the TUNNEL all the time. The light has an almost magnet-like pull on us toward the tunnel. The tunnel is to take you to the different dimension where Heaven is. People describe the tunnel as dark, warm, and peaceful, but often they "feel" other spirits in the darkness from scarey ones to animals and regular folks. You are met by the appropriate entity that is most important to you. It can be your religious leader or family members. One interesting point I want to mention is that they say if you suffer a particularly violent death, God will take your spirit early so you don't suffer the pain - isn't that just like Him!
There are some outstanding people in the field you should know about. The oldest ones are Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Dr. Melvin Morse, and Dr. Raymond Moody. They all have books. Reliable people that you probably already know about include Dr. Brian Weiss, the hypnotist who studies reincarnated souls, ("Many Lives, Many Masters") and James Van Praagh ,"Ghosts Among Us."
Well, I'm getting too tired: after 3 days of taking care of my 4-yr-old grandson and his huge hyper dog, my Fibromyalgia is telling me to rest now.